On November 26 of this year, Matt Chandler fell ill at his home. He had a seizure. They took him to the doctor. They did some diagnostics. They found a tumor. They did surgery. They waited for the test results. They got the results. Malignant. Non encapsulated. Horrific.
Jesus changed us in
Our transitions always brought us spiritual and emotional challenges, and once again we found ourselves back in
And now we face this next step in Matt’s life. Three small children. A beautiful and brilliant wife. Love for Jesus all over this family like crazy. And trusting in God’s sovereignty and grace and healing. Me too. I’m praying like crazy for this family I’ve never met, that would never know me, that has never known that I’ve cried tears of relief at hearing that the surgery was finally over and I could sleep. They don’t know that Alex and I have held hands and hearts and lifted them up because it’s all we can do. But I know it’s the best we can do for them. The best.
And I wonder for Lauren. I wonder where she is, what she is feeling, how she must be struggling and surviving. I think about my house, with my three children, their incomparable and whole hearted love for their Daddy. I think about the silence that comes on the nights that he isn’t here. I think about how she has endured that, without the beautiful sound of a text message alert in the middle of the night saying ‘here’. I think about how I’ve already googled Matt’s diagnosis with tears streaming and how I would crumble into a million pieces thinking of a future without my husband. I think about the twenty eight thousand pictures I have of my precious man and his girls and how that may be the only way our children experience him. It is almost too much to bear. And in these moments, I just want to scream….and He whispers back.
He whispers back…for my Glory. It is for my Glory, Julie. Nothing can steal that from me, little one. But all of this can reveal it. In ways that you could not ever dream, I will reveal it. In ways that you may never see, I will reveal it. In ways that you will rejoice over, I will reveal it. In ways that you will relax in it, I will reveal it. But until then, little one, trust me. Drink in the sweet sedation that is me and wait.
And that is what I pray that He is screaming to Lauren in her moments of madness or sorrow and in her moments of celebration and gratitude.
And I thank you, Jesus, that Matt knows you like I don’t. I thank you that he is gifted with your presence…that he is able to communicate in ways that allow us to see you as we’ve never seen before. Thank you that he doesn’t fool around, that he shares the way he loves you and that the personal, precious walk he’s taken with you has become some of the sweetest moments of my life.
Do not be terrified.
Do not be discouraged.
For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
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